3 GUYS IN DRAG SELLING THEIR STUFF: Ideally Suited to Late Night or Cabaret 3M, One Set, Full Length. Diva, Lillian, and Tink (three men in drag) are having a yard sale to raise funds for a Faberge egg in which to place the ashes of Diva's dead husband. Diva bosses Lillian, whose principal expertise is making punch with ingredients that could fuel a rocket. Tink is confined to a wheelchair, mostly comatose, but when she does try to make herself heard, the others invariably misunderstand, causing dire consequences. The miscommunications of this misfit trio cause a friend to be run over by a pickup truck while trying to cross the street with her walker. We meet an entire neighborhood of characters through the eyes of the "ladies" during the course of their yard sale, including Diva's mother who has the yard wired with eavesdropping devices and is listening in from her room in a nursing home across the street. Finally, in an explosive climax, the day's shenanigans result in a police shootout when someone plays with a starter pistol filled with blanks. This is a raucous, raunchy, pee-in your-pants, more than a laugh-a-minute play.   

DESERT DEVILS: 4W, One Set, Full Length. This play is the extended version of Tough Cookies (published by Samuel French, Inc.) only more wild, funnier and more tragic. Set in the formerly oil-rich desert southwest, this play explores the lives of three generations of women living under one roof. The story centers around Jo, who has taken in her mother to be cared for after the death of her father. Jo's daughter, Leota Ruth, a self-mutilating poet approaching middle-age, is in her mother's care. The dialogue is simultaneously hilarious and tragic, as these women and a neighbor tear and rip into one another's psyches with love and abandon. The cookies in question may or may not be poisoned, but poison enough lies just beneath the surface of their bittersweet and all-too-familiar lives.

FLOWERS OUT OF SEASON: 1/M, 2/W, 2 simple sets easily changed out, full-length love story thriller. A young couple, Buck and Dawn, in Southern New Mexico has fallen on hard times. They are America's working poor-lost in a faltering social and healthcare system. We meet them early one morning on the day that will change their lives forever. Their conversation reveals the political, religious and social underpinnings of the disenfranchised in America. Buck then meets Daisy, a middle-aged woman twice his age later that same day. They come together for a steamy, dangerous and frightening afternoon encounter. The tension erupts into the unleashing of Nature's fury, perhaps brought about through the power of magic. Sensuous and seductive, the plot's twists and turns lead to a shattering conclusion.  

IN THE VENUS ARMS: A Diabolical Farce 4M/2W, One Set, Full Length. This black comedy features the playwright himself. Spiritless, Wells is threatened by the night manager of The Venus Arms, a residential hotel, with permanent dispossession, leaving an empty,'though very animated body. Four literati arrive to perform an "inorcism" (as opposed to an exorcism) to restore Wells's spirit. Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas along with Oscar Wilde and Marcel Proust raise havoc while trying to raise the consciousness of the subject of their inorcism in this fun-filled, clever and very diabolical farce. Franz Kafka, the night manager, keeps popping up in the form of a cockroach seemingly intent on the playwright's doom.

POET'S WAKE: Full length, approx. 90 minutes, 33 characters, 14/M, 11/F, 8/E, with doubling, but can be performed with as few as 6 actors.  We are at the wake of a Poet Laureate.  Mourners come and go, delivering monologues.  We learn, through the mourners, about the life of the poet and about the mourners themselves.  Some define us by the people in our lives.  The life of the celebrity after death is too often defined by those who are left behind.  Some have axes to grind.  Some speak out of ignorance.  Although each may believe they are telling the truth, it is the teller's truth; truth is subjective.  The artist's work is too often overshadowed by the tales and the writings of the survivors. In the end we must discover, uncover or simply choose and decide the truth ourselves -- the truth of others and the truth of oneself is, perhaps, merely a matter of perception.  Poet's Wake might even show us a bit of truth about ourselves.

STREETS OF OLD NEW YORK:  A Sing-Along Musical Melodrama 5M, 3W, 1 Either, Minimal Set, Full Length Musical. This sing-along musical melodrama, is freely adapted from the 1857 drama The Poor of New York by Dion Boucicault (produced subsequently under many titles, including The Poor of Liverpool and The Poor of London) was first staged in New York City, and subsequently in London (1857), and Liverpool (1864).  It was actually an adaptation of Eugene Nus and Edouard Brisebarre's Les Pauvres de Paris. (Paris, 1856).  The songs included in this text, as far as research has been able to determine, are in public domain. Therefore, neither royalties nor permission should be needed to perform them in the sing-along portions of this play.  However, the producers of this play should determine this for themselves, as copyrights may have since been reestablished.

TALES FROM DARKEST SUBURBIA: Minimum of 2W/2M/1E, Cast doubles, Bare Stage, full length.  Review by David Muncaster Amateur Stage Magazine, United Kingdom, "TALES FROM DARKEST SUBURBIA consists of seven interconnected stories that give us a glimpse of what the author describes as “typical” American life.  You know the sort of thing: Murder, adultery, blackmail, kidnapping.  Oh yes, and cannibalism, dismemberment and a flesh eating poison.  All very much the sort of thing that passes for normal in American suburbs.  Well, it does in the mind of Edward Crosby Wells anyway. The first of our stories explores friendship: The kind of deep personal friendship that is built on a mutual contempt for each other, where the only things that bonds is the “love of the game and a taste for blood.”  Across the tablecloth that features a rubbing of Tallulah Bankhead’s gravestone, Sissie exploits her knowledge of something that Minnie is desperate to keep secret.  The seemingly pleasant chatter is full of veiled threats and a deal is done.  In the next tale a judge discusses with an attorney the outcome of a murder trial, involving Minnie’s husband, before it has been heard in court.  Having enjoyed the first tale I found the second even better, and so this continued as each of the tales surpassed the previous for ingenuity and humour.  What I really like about this play though, is that the characters, however surreal, are still believable.  Their conversation flows naturally and we gradually become embroiled in their extraordinary lives. TALES FROM DARKEST SUBURBIA is a remarkable achievement.  Although each story works very well on its own and could be presented independently as a short play, as a complete piece, it comes together very well, is most satisfying and very funny."

THE MOON AWAY: 3M/2W cast doubles), Single Abstract Unit Set, 2 Acts, Full Length.   Based on a actual incident, this powerful and intense drama takes place between September 1984 and April 1985. Joe, a photographer in southern New Mexico while grappling with his identity as a gay man, is suddenly thrown into a nightmare world when he is wrongly accused of criminal sexual contact with a minor. The story follows seven months of his life as he struggles to overcome his obstacles. Dream sequences and flashbacks take the audience on a surreal journey through the nightmare world of the inner-self and the hostile environment in which Joe finds himself.

THE PROCTOLOGIST'S DAUGHTER: 3/M, 2/W, 1/E, Unit Set, Full Length. This play takes a comedic look at the film noir of the 1940s.  Baroness Von Cobra is the epitome of the "dragon lady" of that particular genre.  She is a spy for the Third Reich and from her mansion high atop the Hollywood Hills she runs her spy operation and reports directly to Berlin. Her residence is a nest of Nazi spies, a gorilla and a cobra named Adolph.  The Baroness is also a transsexual and to be played by a man.  Otto Papschmier, her ever-faithful servant, and Frau Schnapps, her deviously clever housekeeper, assist her in her villainy.  The Baroness is assigned to uncover the whereabouts of a secret weapon that the Third Reich is anxious to get its hands on, but all attempts are foiled by Dick Palmer, the cool secret agent for the Allied Secret Submarine Service (ASSS) and his girlfriend, Velma Lombard the Woolworth's saleslady and wannabe movie star.  All the characters are pretty much Hollywood stock. In fact, there is not an once of realism, just cliche and a lot of fun-filled shtick.  Think Mel Brooks.

THOR'S DAY: 2M, One Set, Full Length. Philip, a middle-aged insurance salesman, brings home a gorgeous young man for an afternoon tryst. Their encounter is fraught with pleasure and danger as the clock ticks down to an explosive and unexpected climax. Perhaps possessed with supernatural powers, Buck takes Philip on a breathtaking, life-altering journey into the unexplored territory of his long-suppressed and hidden desires. Intelligent, homoerotic, powerful, provocative and terrifying, this thriller is sure to keep an audience on the edge of its seat.

WEST TEXAS MASSACRE: 6W/4M, One Set, Full Length. Marsha is the Queen of a West Texas community theatre. With her, it is always about Marsha - Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! Marsha is having an affair with Dr. Hal. Marsha's husband, Mike, is having an affair with Alyson. Alyson, Botoxed and liposuctioned, is the pretender to the Queen's throne. Is Bill the teacher having an affair with one of his students? Marsha's world is filled with intrigue, back-stabbing, secret board meetings and double-dealings. We learn all about the actors and their diabolical plots as they perform Massacre at Dirty Gulch, a rootin'-tootin' old-time melodrama, written, directed and starring none other than - Marsha! Marsha plays Mary Holiday whose illegitimate daughter is abducted by Indians. The Indian Princess Desert Flower, played by Alyson, sheds her feathers and we discover her to be none other than Mean Mabel Wiggens, the She-Scourge of the West. Marsha's husband plays Bad Bart Blackey who is in cahoots with Mean Mabel. Marsha's daughter plays Mary's daughter who returns to be reunited with her mother after many years of back-aching work in a house of ill repute. Was it the Bible or a bullet that done-in Madam Lillie? The two melodramas quickly become intermingled with enough devious-doings to curl the moustache on Fu Manchu. And then, of course, there is a massacre. Oh, what bloody fun!


20th CENTURY SKETCHES 2W/2M Minimum, No Set, Each Skit approx. 3 Minutes. Comic highlights from each decade of the Twentieth Century are captured in this series. These work best when produced along with song and dance from each decade. Included are: 1903: HOORAY FOR NEW JERSEY 1912: A REALLY BIG BOAT 1929: THE BIG CRASH 1933: THE REPEAL 1945: THE MANHATTAN PROJECT 1959: HONK (BEATNIK SPOOF) 1969: A WOMAN ON THE MOON 1974: A LEAK AT THE WATERGATE 1981: NANCY & RONNIE GO SHOPPING 1999: HOORAY FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM 

EMPIRE 3M/3W, Barroom set with juke box.  Approx. 30+ minutes. This drama is set in the Empire, a run-down tavern in Upstate New York.  The characters are a group of individuals who have reached the bottom of their lives, in their cups, beyond middle-age, suffering the depression of closed factories and joblessness.  From the torrential rains, water begins to rise and threatens to flood the town and the captives in the Empire.   Situation and language make this play unsuitable for younger audiences.

SLOW BOAT TO CHINA: 1M/1W, No Set, 20 Minutes. She's working on her memoirs. Her memory is fading as the early symptoms of Alzheimer's begin to take root. He's turned his back on fieldwork and writing to teach anthropology at the local community college. Together they have shared thirty years of marriage. It is the anniversary of their marriage and the last day of summer as he tries to coax her into a metaphorical walk into the woods. The universality of long term relationships, the language of a husband and a wife who have become indifferent yet bound by their love, mixed with the impending consequences of Alzheimer's Decease-all add to its engaging exploration into the longterm intimacy of marriage.

LEAVING TAMPA 3M, Minimal Set, One-Act, 45 Minutes. Wells turns his attention to examining gay self-hate, abusive relations, the role of the gay male in relationship to his father and in relationship to Christianity. Roy, bitter about childhood abuse by his father, sits with his lover in an airport restaurant on their way home from Roy's father's funeral.At another table sits the ghost of the father, whom only Roy can see. The dialogue between Roy and his lover overlaps with that of his father - building to an unexpected and emotional climax.

PINK GIN FOR THE BLUES: 1M, Minimal Set, 20 Minutes. A monologue for a mature drag queen. Trick, a sadder but wiser drag queen, in her cups, sits at a bar where she pours her heart out about lost love and lost innocence.

TOUGH COOKIES: 3W, One Set, One hour. Set in the formerly oil-rich desert Southwest, this play explores the lives of two generations of women living under one roof. The story centers on Jo who, after her father dies, takes in her feisty mother. The dialogue between them and with a long-time neighbor is, at once, outrageously funny and heart-breakingly tragic. These women tear and rip into each other's psyche with reckless abandon and something barely resembling love. The cookies in question may or may not be poisoned, but just beneath the surface these women hide a more potent poison - the deadly venom accumulated over years of unfulfilled dreams mixed with the sudden and bitter acceptance of a life unrealized. If you like your tragedies hysterically funny then take a bite of this (available only through Samuel French, Inc.).

WHISKERS 2M, No Set, Approx. 35-40 minutes.  Timtu Chatterley, a finicky Siamese, and Tom, the street-smart alley cat, meet in the parking lot of a hospital where Timtu’s mistress, Lady Chatterley, is a patient.  A clash of cultures ensues between the haves and have-nots, the entrapped and the free spirit.  Most suitable to a younger audience.

~10-15 MINUTES~

CIVIL UNIONIZED: 2M/1W, No Set, A Post Office Window, 10 minutes.  This play takes a tongue-in-cheek look at the debate over gay marriage and civil unions. This play was translated into Spanish by Silvia Lopez and was premiered in Barcelona with the title Union Civil.

CORNERED: 2M, a desk and two chairs, 15 minutes. Mister Black is accused of the gruesome murder of his longtime companion and Doctor Whyte is conducting a psychological assessment to determine whether or not he is fit for trial.  This play makes use of the theme 'cornered' both metaphorically and in the reality of the text.  Metaphorically, our protagonist is cornered by an intolerant system.   When he feels himself pushed into a corner, his instinct for survival is all-conquering, making his horrific actions seem like the only practical solution possible to avoid being tossed onto life’s garbage heap. He is the quintessential victim of circumstance.  

HARRY THE CHAIR: 2W, No Set except for a couple chairs, a small table and a recliner.   Approx. 10 minutes. Poor Gladys. She left the room for less than a minute, and when she returned her husband was gone. Well, not exactly gone -- Harry turned into a chair. Can a marriage survive when one of the partners is an over-stuffed recliner? 

MISSING BAGGAGE: 1M/1either, Customer service counter, 10-minutes.  An irate traveler is missing his luggage. A customer service representative tries inventive ways to pacify him.  NEXT 4 Actors (male and/or female), Minimal Set, 10 Minutes. A humorous existential exercise where four characters in a waiting room are unaware of what it is they are waiting for. They argue, threaten, manipulate and vie for superiority. It is about how many of us remain in a kind of limbo where we wait to live and we wait to die -- experiencing neither, experiencing nothing.

PEDALING TO PARADISE: 2W, No Set, 10 Minutes. Sally and Teddy have reached a point in their lives where their insecurities and lessening sense of worth have begun to affect their good judgment. They pedal and pedal on their exercise bikes and get nowhere while trying to "get fit." It's all about cosmetics and getting your man in order to feel complete, or is it? Is "getting fit" worth it? Are men all that necessary? Is Paradise all it's cracked up to be? What exactly is "fit?" Pedal, girls, pedal.

ROAD KILL: 1M/1F, Bare Stage, 15 Minutes.  We meet Mary and Joey, a young homeless couple waiting by the side of the road for Joey's ride to his first day on his new job. In the shopping cart along with all their belongings, is their infant son. Optimism abounds next to the road kill they find along the side of the road.

SAMSON AND DELILAH: 1M/1W. A bed and a small vanity with chair, 10 minutes. Set in New Orleans, this is the story of two outcasts suffering the consequences of the hustle in the time of Katrina.

SISTERS OF LITTLE MERCY: 3W, No Set except a small table and 3 chairs.   Approx. 15 minutes. A bit of "nunsense" about three nuns who are banished to Little Mercy, Colorado-an abandoned silver mining town high in the Rockies, to do penitence for conduct unbecoming the wives of Jesus. Their misfortune turns into a fortune found in the outhouse when Sister Mary Madeline discovers an unusual light shining between her legs. 

VAMPYRE HOLIDAY: 1M/1W, No Set except a loveseat. Approx. 10 minutes.  Bambi has applied for the job of nanny to Santa's elves. Santa isn't all he seems and neither is Bambi. There's mystery and comedy afoot for the Holidays.